A Carer's Story
"My name is Phyllis. My husband Maurice, a retired structural engineer, is pictured right. We met 60 years ago.
"We have lived in Devizes, Wiltshire, for eight years and we came here to be nearer our family. Maurice was happy to move house but had left the packing and legal details to me. Two weeks before the move, we were told that he had had a TIA (a Transient Ischaemic Attack, often called a mini-stroke), but we hadn’t time to worry about it at that stage.
"I unpacked and he settled into his armchair. Maurice had some health problems, irritable bowel syndrome and hypertension. When we went to the doctors Maurice liked to say how busy he was, and in his mind he was, but apart from his watercolours painting he did very little.
"I was frustrated as I was doing the housework, gardening, driving, finance - everything but the washing up! The doctor, who knew better than I what was going on, referred Maurice to Green Lane Mental Hospital. Here Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia were quickly diagnosed.
"From that time, although Maurice became worse, things improved for us. Alzheimer’s Support swung into action and I was told about local meetings for carers where I could learn more about the illness and how it affects people in different ways.
"The support workers always had time to listen to my worries and give reassurance and comfort. At the group meetings I met and became friends with other carers where we shared our worries and compared notes, laughed as well, always returning home with a lighter heart. Invaluable therapy!
"As Maurice became less active and more forgetful I was able to have a day “off watch” as he attended the Sidmouth Club. This wonderful place has a happy atmosphere where people are encouraged to things that they are still able to, and where Maurice was still able to paint - all day if that was what he wanted to do.
"About two years ago, things became harder for both of us. Maurice had more TIAs and began to have difficulty walking. Just after Christmas he was admitted to hospital with flu like symptoms and he is now in a nursing home. He remembers less and less, but when I say “Alzheimer’s Support” or “Sidmouth Club” he gives me his lovely smile.
"I am still going to the Alzheimer’s Support Carers’ Group meetings. I had a bad spell where I was missing Maurice’s company at home and sorting out some things he will never use again, but kind words and support were there for me still.
Alzheimer’s Support helped me in so many ways. There were practical things like liaising with social workers (new to me!), allowances, social services for bathing and respite care for example.
"Watching someone you love diminishing, mentally and physically, is very hard, but with the right support it is possible to survive and live again. So thank you from the bottom of my heart."
Phyllis Filmore, Carer
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